Wednesday, December 10, 2014

No sick days here

Nothing exciting to report today. She’s been home for two days straight, possibly strep throat. We had our piano Christmas recital on the weekend. Tonight we saw Squire Barnes. I'm still unemployed and three weeks shy of homelessness.

This week has solidified that I only want to work for myself and although there are many great job postings out there for these types of jobs, I have pretty much given up on the whole resume thing. I will put in about a weeks worth of effort but am focussing more on selling myself and my great ideas.

I have found a writing group to keep me inspired and have hired Little One. Today I put her to work on making business cards and taking pictures of all the stuff I get to sell before our move. I paid her in cash and organic, fair-trade dark chocolate.

Saturday, December 6, 2014

Hahaha! I laugh in the face of...

I am in a panic. I still have three weeks before my move and do not have a place or income lined up. Since when do I panic?

Six years ago I was in this exact situation. I was moving here to Urbania with nothing but a baby, a college certificate, and $1000 that I had to pay back. I survived.

I'm also reminded of other times I have uprooted and survived. In my twenties, for example, the Gordon Campbell government came in and wiped out the Kootenay’s, shut-down schools, daycares, senior homes. There were no jobs. Laid-off government workers were applying to the mall foodcourt. Newly graduated from my college program, I left home with $60 cash, stayed with friends, found a fun job in my field. I survived. Then, two years ago I left a psychotic boyfriend. I sent Little One to her dad's, crashed on a friend's couch, and within 48 hours, had a wonderful and cozy apartment in a perfect neighbourhood with an amazing school. I survived.

Now, I'm leaving Urbania. I have financial support, Little One's needs are taken care of, she doesn’t need constant supervision, I have more skills, supplementary income, and new and exciting intentions. So what’s the deal?

Perhaps, it could be that this move is planned so I have more time to think and prepare. However, I believe the real reason is that this move is letting me learn to be myself again, to stay focused on my intention and to not let barriers sneak in. Barriers did not exist for me in the past, but since I began trying to operate on others ideals the trial and error, crashing and burning numerous times and my life crumbling before my eyes has really shook me up. This move is throwing all patterns that no longer serve me into my face  – and I get to smash them to pieces. With this new start, I get to take all the lessons and strength of the past decade while wiping out all the negativity that has been festering in me for too long.

When you set your intentions on being awesome and living, life just becomes fun and flawless. It’s just how it is. I'm going to enjoy every moment.

Thursday, December 4, 2014

We're Moving

I have been on many adventures this year, starting on Easter weekend. I just throw my day in a backpack and then head out. I haven't been on any excursions recently, I keep smashing my cars. The last one left us broken and in pain. Bloody hell. Always when I get my life going too.

Earlier this summer, my adventures led me to a farm which happened to be in the area I was eyeing up as my dream place to live -- the place I would manifest some property to build my ecohouse. On this farm, I learned to face my barriers (in less traumatic ways), and oh my are those barriers ever real.

Recently I have had to make a decision. I am done with this leg of the journey. We are moving. We're  packing up, leaving and getting out of this too-many-horses town ... We are heading twenty minutes east - to the neighbourhod of my dreams.

I feel excited. I'm feeling a purpose again and joy and excited to be moving forward with the momentum of the planet. Since accepting that I would have to uproot her from her the only community she's ever known and her awesome school, life is quickly getting back on path. Her counsellor says I'm building 'resiliency'. Glad she's supportive.

My body is getting fixed and more adventures are leading to more answers, cool people, and my manifesting the things I need (this month I've accumulated a bigger backpack as well as a small laptop which I can take to my outdoor office with me!)

I really look forward to getting my sense of humour back. Urbania really shot that down. My apologies but my blog posts won't be funny for a while; please bear with me as I regain that part of my soul.


Tonight I learned to crochet a dishrag -- thought it would be easier to learn to crochet than to do laundry and wash my dirty dishrags. She read a whole novel.  She's seven... Dear God get us to our farm.

Monday, December 1, 2014

Goodbye Urbania

I don't know the purpose of this blog anymore. I have changed the name to 'Mud and Stuff' to reflect the childhood that she isn't quite getting but which I have been putting in a good effort to attain here in Urbania.

When she was younger I would write about our days together. Lots of adventures -- we were on a great path. Now, there is no joy in our day. We cry of boredom. She cries of boredom. "Mommy, will you please play with me?"  "Ummmm, no?" So the poor dear plays by herself. A lot.

She is amazing though. We have no technology here - we throw on YouTube and Grooveshark for our tunes. Once in a while I'll let her play a game, but she rarely asks.

Tonight she did the stop-go-stop-go-backtrack-go until she had all the lyrics to Ariana's 'Bang Bang' written out. She's going to practice it with her friend this week and then they will perform it for their class.

My kid is rad. Soon we will leave Urbania.

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

For Real, Another Fire!?

You wouldn't believe where I am right now. I'm at home, sick with the stomach flu. I'm not really at home though. I'm at the public library because home is evacuated... Another fire in our building. So I'm at the library holding back my stomach contents, missing work, and evacuated from our building. There was a time when I could laugh about this sort of thing and I have three gut churning please-God-keep-that-dry-toast-down hours to try and remember those times. It is pretty ridiculous after all as it is the second fire-slash-evacuation since we moved in eight months ago. It does suck that I had to call my boss in to work for me. The poor thing has seven children and the last thing she wants to do is work my shift. I have a great history of not missing work but I'm a parent now and this is my fourth sick day since I started in September (Little One's sick days are also my sick days). Little One has such terrible anxiety from the last fire that I'm not even going to tell her. I'm just going to say they're doing more renovations (more renovations... Note: If you're going to change the 40-year old dingy carpet, change all the carpet. Right now, it looks like they ran out of money and couldn't finish the job BUT I know that's not the truth because owner #1 drives a Maserati and owner #2 is in Italy). Anyway, I think I will tell her there was a flood because if it is anything like last time, the carpets will be drenched and pulled back and there will be giant fans airing the hallway out for a month. Yes, that's it. "There was a flood Little One! You should have seen it, we all had boats and were rowing down the hallways; there were rainbows and everybody was having a jolly time. I sure wished you could have been there!"